Molly
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First of all, hi, I'm Molly, hence my username, I'm 18 and was diagnosed with Juvenile Myoclonic epilepsy when I was 13 (but felt auras at early ages - I remember feeling them when I was 8, driving in the car and looking out the window with the sun flickering through trees). I'm on 400mg of Lamictal per day and it does a not-so-good job at controlling my seizures. In fact, I have way more seizures than I should be having. They're only little jerks but they affect a LOT of daily things. I've only had one grand mal/tonic clonic and that was because I somehow missed a day of taking my meds. Anyway, I'm going to be providing some background info because I feel like it may help in answering my question(s).
When I was first diagnosed, I was put on Depakote. I was first put on it during the summer prior to my first year of high school which was when a lot of other things were happening as well - first of all, starting high school. On top of that: puberty and finding out who my actual friends were. The latter was one of the biggest issues I've had in my life so far due to over-the-top, extreme emotional and somewhat-physical bullying.
Anyway, after about a year and a half of being on Depakote my academic performances went sharply downhill and my personality/behavior took a nosedive for the worst. I became severely depressed when I was 15 and developed social anxiety so bad that I couldn't even walk out of the house without panicking and crying. I was also constantly hungry and I ended up gaining about 20 pounds which I later lost from taking prescribed amphetamines, which was hell, but I won't go into that. When I was almost 17 I switched to Lamictal and really the only things that have changed are my social anxiety and appetite. I was also in the middle of my search for a working antidepressant. The last anti-d I was on was Cymbalta. I hardly ate or drank anything because I felt no hunger or thirst. Earlier this year I weaned off of it because I was sick of feeling like a zombie and I wanted to see if I could handle my depression without relying on a pill. My appetite is almost-normal, I guess. I don't have nearly as much energy as I did when I was on the pill and my depression is pretty much at the same level as it was, maybe worse, but if it is it's just by a sliver.
Now for the main point of this post.
Lamictal is severely affecting my life. I can't drive, get a job or go to college yet because my seizures are not fully under control. I can hardly function if I don't get enough sleep or am fatigued because these are two main triggers for my seizures. I remember that when I was taking Depakote I had near-to-no seizures --- it did wonders at controlling them.
Last year my Neurologist prescribed me a low dose of Depakote (I forgot how many milligrams) to take with my Lamictal to see if that would help. After about a week and a half of taking it I noticed that my appetite drastically increased and I didn't like it, so I stopped. I also didn't feel/see any changes in my seizure control. I would like to start taking Depakote by itself again but I'm scared that my personality will change completely like it did when I was 14/15. However, at the same time I feel like it might be different if I took it at this age. Back when I was taking it I was going through a lot of other emotionally-changing things. I can't tell if that played a part in my personality change or if it was just the Depakote. Most of the things I read about Depakote changing peoples' personalities come from concerned parents about their 5-to-7-year-olds. I see hardly anything about older people but I'm starting to think that age might not even play a role in this.
Does anybody have any feedback?
When I was first diagnosed, I was put on Depakote. I was first put on it during the summer prior to my first year of high school which was when a lot of other things were happening as well - first of all, starting high school. On top of that: puberty and finding out who my actual friends were. The latter was one of the biggest issues I've had in my life so far due to over-the-top, extreme emotional and somewhat-physical bullying.
Anyway, after about a year and a half of being on Depakote my academic performances went sharply downhill and my personality/behavior took a nosedive for the worst. I became severely depressed when I was 15 and developed social anxiety so bad that I couldn't even walk out of the house without panicking and crying. I was also constantly hungry and I ended up gaining about 20 pounds which I later lost from taking prescribed amphetamines, which was hell, but I won't go into that. When I was almost 17 I switched to Lamictal and really the only things that have changed are my social anxiety and appetite. I was also in the middle of my search for a working antidepressant. The last anti-d I was on was Cymbalta. I hardly ate or drank anything because I felt no hunger or thirst. Earlier this year I weaned off of it because I was sick of feeling like a zombie and I wanted to see if I could handle my depression without relying on a pill. My appetite is almost-normal, I guess. I don't have nearly as much energy as I did when I was on the pill and my depression is pretty much at the same level as it was, maybe worse, but if it is it's just by a sliver.
Now for the main point of this post.
Lamictal is severely affecting my life. I can't drive, get a job or go to college yet because my seizures are not fully under control. I can hardly function if I don't get enough sleep or am fatigued because these are two main triggers for my seizures. I remember that when I was taking Depakote I had near-to-no seizures --- it did wonders at controlling them.
Last year my Neurologist prescribed me a low dose of Depakote (I forgot how many milligrams) to take with my Lamictal to see if that would help. After about a week and a half of taking it I noticed that my appetite drastically increased and I didn't like it, so I stopped. I also didn't feel/see any changes in my seizure control. I would like to start taking Depakote by itself again but I'm scared that my personality will change completely like it did when I was 14/15. However, at the same time I feel like it might be different if I took it at this age. Back when I was taking it I was going through a lot of other emotionally-changing things. I can't tell if that played a part in my personality change or if it was just the Depakote. Most of the things I read about Depakote changing peoples' personalities come from concerned parents about their 5-to-7-year-olds. I see hardly anything about older people but I'm starting to think that age might not even play a role in this.
Does anybody have any feedback?
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